Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Peter Lamprey writes that he has received a large consignment of letters and he includes a poem addressed to some of his correspondents. He concludes with messages to friends.

1942

Six page handwritten letter

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ELampreyPGuntonW42XXXX-02

[RAF Crest]

Still [underlined] Tiree [/underlined].

Thursday. [underlined] 1942. [/underlined].

Dear Uncle Bill.

I received, with some surprise, a most remarkable conglomeration of letters. From some people, epistles arrived that show they posess [sic] the power of using their heads for other purposes than a hat-rack. From others the epistles denote the fact that their brains are brand new. The latter - Messrs. Maloney and Standivan, with the ginger cat, should take care that this vital organ is only used sparingly as a seize up will deprive me of one of my few pleasures – that of deciphering the

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fly tracks that pass for their letters. I could not be certain it was Moloneys [sic] letter until I saw that every word over four letters was spelt wrong – then I knew. The ginger cat, as usual, got Moloney to heave the brick and Mr Standivan took a sheet of paper to tell me nothing. Still I thank one and all, and hope to be able to reply to every one of them.

Mr. W. Thornhill – my ornithological pursuits have unfortunately temporarily curtailed owing to the exingences [sic] of the service. Should however I resume my peregrinations, the study of the female, female of the species – homo sapiens, will continue to absorb my

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[underlined] 3. [/underlined]

[RAF Crest]

undivided attention, and you can rest assured that the collaboration existing between us; my performance and your applause, will continue undisturbed.

Felicitations.

Dear Mr. Denny, in your verse
You flaunt “the working four”
But just remember – I have heard,
That sort of tale before.
This wise old bird, I must point out,
Is never caught with chaff
I know the game, and therefore I,
Can well afford to laugh.
So if in future letters,
Into verse you sometimes drop.
Beware the pitfall and remember
Just where you should stop.

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[underlined] 4 [/underlined].

Eschew all bunkum, telling tales
Of any sort of size
And don’t you try and work on me
A load of blasted lies.

So Mr. Ashton – here at last
There comes your answer rare
Just when I’d given way to gloom
And unreserved despair.
The rest you’ve had, has nothing done
To sharpen up your wit.
As Mr. Harbour crudely says.
Its [sic] just a lot of nonsense.

Thanks all the same and I’ll give you one on your own next week.

Mr. Hunt. If you think I’m going to thank you for your letter you must still be the half-wit optimist you always were.

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[inserted] 5. [/inserted]

[RAF Crest]

If you turned down three hours O.T. it was because you were being measured by the undertaker. As for No. 6. being first in the queue for it. Who the hell held the job up? Well then, they [deleted] ders. [/deleted] should have it.

Mr. Gunton. I like you. I would do anything for you. I’ll bury you decently. I’ll come up and do it next week if you don’t lay off Wyn and Kitty and stop squawking about being two letters up on me. You are the bloke who said I should go to Oban to see Scotland at its best. I’ll remember that until you die, and I’ve got a short memory.

Thanks for the fags and the

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good wishes. May your friends never find you out.

As you can gather I still reside in this land of work - wet – wind and worry. I am still putting on the Crusoe act. I could do with a Man Friday – or a girl any night. Enclosed is a little thing I found after I went to sleep with my pen in my hand. I often find things in my hands these morning [sic]. Over virile I suppose. Let me know how Bert is.

Kiss the baby, she’s eighteen now and just lovely.

Yours in misery

[underlined] Pete. [/underlined]