Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Peter Lamprey writes that he has received no letters for three weeks from usual correspondents. He mentions the weekly film night and that he hopes to leave Tiree soon and return to Inverness.

Six page handwritten letter

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ELampreyPGuntonWXX0310

[RAF Crest]

Tiree.

[underlined] Friday. 10th Mar. [/underlined]

Dear Unk.

While this missive is penned in no carping spirit. I would like to point out that, for almost three weeks, I have not been troubled with a letter from Park Royal. Perhaps it is my fault in that I have not illustrated my letters to you, but – if you think I am going to keep on writing to a load of dumb clucks that want something new in every letter you can try getting stuffed.

If you still posess [sic] the health and strength to raise your eyes above knee level, you will see that I am still

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holding up the prestige of the minders in this far flung outpost. Not but that I usually have to keep my past criminal associations secret. The war still passes by on the other side of the road. Things maintain the calm usually associated with Harry Beacham and Harry Straw rushing to buy a drink for one another. So far we are doing pretty fair. We still keep sane and healthy, how we do the former is another unsolved mystery of the war.

Seeing that the mail from here is liable to be held up for quite a few days you will no doubt manage to get a line or two to me before this letter reaches your hands. If by some mistake is[sic] should contain any intelligent references to somebody who writes to me in the interim

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[RAF Crest]

[underlined] 3. [/underlined]

they can take it as an unintended compliment. If however I manage to insult anybody let me know what it is so I can repeat it my next letter.

We are having one of our big nights tonight. The film comes to Tiree. Once a week the island cuts loose and goes to the cinema. All the latest epics of Hollywood are screened – this week they are having talkies. What with the cinema, NAAFI etc. I hardly know what to do with my money – if I had any.

Never daunted by the body-blows of fate we still hope to get away from here very shortly. I have a strong fancy for biting huge lumps out of Inverness, a fancy for going to town

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with a pocketful of cash – bad designs and no conciense[sic]. At the present moment it looks as if my leave has been stuck in the wrong file so I will have to get weaving when I return, to sort it out again. I notice that no expressions of sympathy have been forthcoming at this disaster to my plans. If you are all so bloody pleased at my missing leave why don’t you subscribe to a telegraph of congratulation.

I daresay, looking through my letter, some of you well-educated perishers will find a few spelling errors. If you care to point them out next time you write, if ever, I shall have much pleasure in taking not the slightest notice and spelling how I damn well like.

Mr. Ashton – rest his soul – has at

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[RAF Crest]

[underlined] 5. [/underlined]

last seen the error of his ways and stopped his versifying. Had he carried on he would quite
likely have stopped something else.

Mr Evans still keeps out of jail I hope. One of the advantages of having some good friends is the way they pay your fines for drunkenness etc. He certainly couldn’t pay them himself if he still gets in an hour late every day. And Mr Barnes – how does his garden grow? Still raising giant parsnips or just the usual hell.

I was glad to hear from another source, that the “Harrow Tavern” has not been disgraced by your presence for quite a while. The further away you keep the better for everyone. I should hate to

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tell you what she thinks of you. And you wouldn’t like the chapel to know you are low enough to use a bus ticket to sit on.

I can’t close without sending greetings to that old Salonikan [sic], brother George, I know how he feels when nobody will listen to his load of lies. I haven’t had a bloody letter for [underlined] three weeks [/underlined] get going.

All the best
Pete.

P.S. Remember me to all.

[indecipherable signature]