Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Peter Lamprey writes a funny rhyming poem to his former work mates.

Four page handwritten letter

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138453. A. C. 2. Lamprey.
Signals Section.
H. Q. 14 Group. RAF.
Inverness.
Scotland.
Monday – [underlined] 27th [/underlined]
Dear Bill, one and all.
Since last I wrote a line to you – the last that you received,
A most peculiar thing took place – and kind of – left me peeved,
I dreamt one night, while in my cot – it sounds a trifle dumb
That you had got a party on – and I’d been asked to come.
I packed my kit – and grabbed a pass and caught the southbound train
And very soon the lovely sight of London showed again.
When I arrived, I found the show, had started on its way
The boys were doing really well and making it a day.
Out the front was Brother George – upon a table stuck
Giving imitations of – Walt Disney’s Donald Duck.
When he’d finished – none too soon – some half wit shouted – ‘core
And then the blighter started how – he’d won the other war.
The boys all booed and howled him down – without a bit of tact,
Then Eddie Hunt stepped forward with – his ventriloqual [sic] act.
The only difference I could see – as through his act he went
The dummy’s face showed – he by far – was more intelligent.
[inserted] P.T.O. [/inserted]
[page break]
[underlined] 2. [/underlined]
Then there was a smashing turn – when Colky Warren said –
“I’ll read the mind of anyone – and what is in their head”
He started off with Bertie Wall and said “now be quite fair” –
You’re wondering if Harry [smudged] Straw [/smudged] his gold with you will share”.
He looked at Jack Moloney next – and not a sound was heard
For fully fifteen minutes he just never spoke a word.
And then he said “I give it up – with you its [sic] rather tall
To get our sentence on that mind – they’ve got to write it small”.
Harry Staples stepped up next and said “from this position –
I’ll give you all a special treat – a boxing exhibition”.
And on my word – the things he did – were hard to better ever,
Especially when he showed us all – the art of boxing clever.
Next there came a double turn – Harry R. and Dave
A sort of super special paper tearing act they gave
They took a sheet of paper – and they slashed it left and right
And when they’d done – a special “London Calling” came to light.
A brother turn – the next one on – with Fred and strong man Jack.
Who demonstrates – just how to carry – people on his back.
Then someone said- let Harry Beacham – give his little show
But others knew him better and they said – you ought to know
That Mr Beachem hasn’t given anything for years
Except when someone buys the beer – he gives three hearty cheers.
[inserted] cont on P.3 [/inserted]
[page break]
[underlined] 3. [/underlined]
The only turn I missed – and all the boys said it was grand
Was Cherry Ransom throwing knives – or so I understand
But then his turn – as usual – always takes a bit of knowing
For he hands the knives to someone else – and lets them do the throwing.
An acrobatic turn came on – and gave the boys a fright
Jack Hutchings swung, from lamp to lamp – a most stupendous sight
He leapt from here – he leapt from there – and then leapt to and fro
But moved so fast that half the time – you never saw him go.
And then the human hairpin – gave a turn that was unique
(I mean old Archie Slipper that is only how I speak).
He waved a magic wand about – first left and then to right –
Turned sideways and – in half a jiff – had disappeared from sight.
Now “this is something really like” – I heard the boys exclaim,
And one and all the Guv’nor [sic] begged – to try and do the same.
But shoving on his glasses – he just said – “the name is Sheen –
From the blasted way you’re acting – you must think I spell it Green.
So Ginger Harbour had a go – and what a fine to do.
He vanished like a flash of light – the Chapel money too.
And then the host got up to sing – he’d left it rather late –
But got presented with a lovely raspberry – on a plate.
Then someones [sic] voice – I dont [sic] know who – its [sic] very hard to tell
Said “break it up – its [sic] getting late – there goes the blooming bell.
[inserted] PTO. [/inserted]
[page break]
And in a flash – I turned around – and I was all alone
Until I heard another voice “you’re wanted on the phone”
I listened to the call and heard a voice both harsh and coarse
Say “hop it back to Scotland and get on with your morse”
So here I am – back here again – and things are pretty slow
But any rate it made a break – a proper decent show.
Though when I come to town again – I’ll take a little bet
The only blokes that I shall see – are those that I’ve upset
But if no one has got it on – through what I wrote in rhyme
Then all this bloody writing has been just a waste of time
So once again – I’ll close the note and make it short and sweet
Remember me to everyone – the best of luck from
Pete.
P.S. You might thank Miss Evans for the scarf she is knitting, if it keeps my ears as warm as her fathers [sic] hands have on occasions, it will be a super one. I’ll try and get your photo next time I go to town but there doesn’t seem to be much doing in that line up here.
P.P.S. If Eddie Hunt spent a decent evening it would be the first thing he’d spent for years.