Friendly fire

Friendly fire

Tells story of taking girlfriend to a pub while on leave and misadventures on bicycle on return journey. Concludes with her trying to get into her parents locked house and encounter with her angry father.

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[underlined]Friendly Fire[/underlined]
On leave, I took a girlfriend to The Fox, Public House in West Mersea.
Our mode of transport was my sister's Raleigh cycle, me pedalling, she
sitting on the handlebars. After a very pleasant night, and plenty to drink,
the Publican threw us out about J 1.30 p.m.
We mounted the bike as before, but only got to the first bend before
disaster struck, as I lent to turn the corner, the girl lent the opposite way
causing us 10 go straight ahead to a shallow ditch with a luxuriant growth
of stinging nettles. The front wheel struck the verge and we stopped
rather suddenly precipitating the lass into the ditch. As she shot forward
her dress and cami knickers caught on the front light causing them to rise
up and her naked lower end to come into painful contact with the stinging
nettles.
Remounting, we negotiated the rest of the journey to my parents' house,
No. I Dormy Houses without too much trouble and I was able to negate
the squirming agony of my passenger on the way.
Once in the house, I found some Calamine lotion and treated all the
suffering parts.
We then made our way walking to her parents' house, only to find they
had locked her out. She was terrified to call her father as he was very
strict and did not approve of me as she was engaged to someone else.
She suggested 1 lift her up to the lavatory window, which was open and
she would be able to get in without disturbing anyone. This we
proceeded to do. She had no trouble getting through and got one foot on
the lavatory. "O.K." she said, "let go", which I did and immediately there
was a loud splash and turmoil, followed by her father demanding to know
what was going on. (Well, he had left the lid up.)
Being unready to try an explanation due to the tone of his voice, I
departed at a rapid pace and had got some distance when two blasts from
a shotgun helped to increase my speed. Whether he aimed at me or the
air, I do not know, as for some reason I was never invited there again.
Life was very hard those days.