Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Letter from Peter Lamprey to W Gunton

Peter Lamprey writes about life in Inverness and that he has booked leave for the end of the month. He concluded with banter and a request for news of friends.

1942-03-13

Envelope and eight page handwritten letter

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ELampreyPGuntonW420312

INVERNESS
10 PM
13 MAR
1942
[postage stamp]
Mr W. Gunton
Machine Room
Waterlow and Sons
Twyford Abbey Road
Park Royal.
London. N.W.10.
[inserted] X [/inserted]
[page break]
Reverse of envelope blank
[page break]
[RAF crest]
Signals Section
HQ. 14 Group
RAF. [underlined] Inverness. [/underlined]
12th March 1942
Dear Uncle Bill and others.
First – I don’t write enough – then I write instead of print – now I have to put the date on. Next you will want the bloody letters delivered by hand – but before you shove that request in – I must tell you it is a bit of a job to do it.
Thanks for the books – boards etc. I can see that, despite the pressure of work on lighters, the inventors still have time to do anything but print.
With your usual disregard for the truth or anything approaching veracity you state
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“We stand just the same”, if I remember aright. The last time I saw you it could hardly be said that you were standing – balancing, yes. Standing, never.
The fact that I happen to be kicking the gong around in Inverness seems to be a sore point with more people that Eddy Hunt. I’ll tell you soon enough when I start back for the island. And I might mention that my cactus does not need water. It will feed only on the blood of my pseudo friends.
Things, as you can guess, are much the same here. Spring having come to [deleted] indecipherable [/deleted] Scotland we expect to drag out our snow shoes and skis any moment now. The beer is still very fair and boy – the latest- is she dark. A WAAF with as
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[RAF crest]
[underlined]3[/underlined]
much principle as Moloney – who, by the way, I hope is now in a worse state of health [inserted] than [/inserted] anyone who has been dead six months.
So far I have managed to be undetected and I am still as free as a bird. I can’t make my mind up what bird – a canary or a zoo parrot. But at least – up to the time of going to press – I can still get to town on occasion and waste my money and health on riotous living. Having discovered a decent dance hall I shake a wicked hoof every so often and feel like Fred Astaire – about 60.
You will no doubt be pleased to hear that I have booked my leave for the end of the month. You can therefore
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dig out your red carpet and bunting and send it to the cleaners in readiness. Only this time I think, we had better have a bit better company on the evening out. There were too many drunks around last time.
At last I have had time to study Mr. Ashtons [sic] perorations. I have examined them from every angle and fins they are best upside down. You can’t read them that way. Even so they still smell. Not that I should complain too much – I realise anything would smell after being so long near Mr Hunt.
You say that Archie might write – he might if somebody taught him how to spell first and then wrote the letter for him. As for Brother George he
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[RAF crest]
[underlined]5[/underlined]
is still too busy winding up the 1914-18 do to worry about helping this tea party along.
Having burst into a letter I now take it that Rusty is recuperating and I shall hear from him again in about six months or so. I am glad to hear that Dave has ceased to be a thorn in the flesh. I suppose he has now graduated as a knife in the back. If only half of what I hear about him is true he should be in our little mob. He could show us new ways of being a curse to all honest people.
I seem to get precious little news these days of how you poor sufferers are standing up to the rigours of
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this total war. I never seem to hear the latest news of the never ending fight of Mr Beacham to let Mr. Straw do it all, and Mr Straws [sic] gallant retreat.
So here I will leave you – short of news as usual, but if you can’t imagine what I am doing now, after all the letters I’ve written, it will be no good trying to excite your crippled brains with any further information.
Remember me to Tich Mitchell the next time you write. I should imagine that by now he knows the right end to keep clear of. If you should write Herbert tell him there is plenty of room for
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[RAF crest]
[inserted] 7. [/inserted]
good airmen up here – he can have my place.
Remember me to the Guv’nor [sic] and his two partners in crime. Give my regards to the OPA’s and the Engineers. If anybody wishes to be remembered to me, tell ‘em [sic] I’m very busy and I’ll rmemeber them when I get time.
If I have forgotten to insult anybody this time its [sic] because my stock of epithets have run low.
Look after yourself and keep calm I’ll be there soon.
Your loving nephew
Pete.
P.S. Kiss Auntie for me. The blonde one. PTO.
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P.P.S. Should Moloney be lying in bed it is nothing unusual – he lies wherever he is...