Hitler - Spoof last will and testament

Hitler - Spoof last will and testament

Spoof last will and testament of Adolf Hitler

Two page printed document

IBCC Digital Archive

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MDentJ2206473-201023-01

Last Will and Testament of ADOLF HITLER
Alias
ADOLF SCHICKLEGRUBER

Copyright, Entered at Stationers’ Hall.

[page break]

LAST WILL and TESTAMENT of ADOLF HITLER

This is the Last Will and Testament of me Mis-Leader of Germany – Better known as the MAD DOG OF EUROPE.

Fearing that my end is near – that the Die is cast, that I have shot my bolt – that I have now gone too far.

I GIVE AND BEQUEATH all my German People that believe in me to the [italics] Dumb Peoples League. [/italics]

I LEAVE my Swastika to Comrade Stalin, and he can do with it what he told ME to do with it.

I BEQUEATH all my Medals to Goering, the weight of which, together with his own, will bring him to his knees.

I LEAVE to Goebbels my stock of two Tons of Caster Oil, so he can carry on the tradition of Purges.

I BEQUEATH “Mein Kampf” to Colney Hatch for further investigation.

I RETURN my Moustache to Charles Chaplin from whom I annexed it.

I BEQUEATH to Herr Ribbendrops my German Chamber which he may use by merely raising his right hand in the customary manner.

I LEAVE to Goering the Roll of Linoleum which was given to me to put up my Corridor together with numerous hot pokers and other sharp instruments.

AS I AM GOING to the place recommended to me by many of my dear public, I leave my Torso to the Old Maids’ Hostel.

ON MY DEATH I proclaim the annexation of HELL which I have tried to give to my German people and rightfully belongs to the Fatherland.

I APPOINT Ribbendrops and Goering to be Executors of this, my Will, as they are well experienced in Executions.

KNOWING my ultimate destination I wish to be buried in an Asbestos Suit.

Signed and Sealed with the upraised arm in the form of the Naazti [sic] Salute.
Adolf.
ADOLF THE PAINTER.

[SYMBOL]
Copyright. A. B. & S., Ltd.